Party of the First year!

On July 9th the family gathered at Papa's house in Austin to celebrate Caden's first birthday.  A casual summer pool party seemed like the perfect way to celebrate my laid back, water loving, little guys first year.

Grandpa Mike cooling off in the pool.

Aunt Melissa and Anthony were enjoying the water, as well.

Aunt April chillin poolside.

We had croquet,

volleyball,

lots of presents,

and, of course, cupcakes!!!

Everyone had a fun time! I can't believe my baby is one! Mommy loves you, Caden!

 

Just drive

Do you ever have those days? If you are a mom you know what I mean. The days when your kids just won't leave each other or you alone.  The days when you feel like one more thing will send you over the edge. The days when nothing seems to be going right. Today has been one of "those days." Here are two truths about me: I am a mom, and I am selfish. These two things have a hard time coexisting. Obviously, selfishness is not something I am proud of, but let's just be honest. Sometimes I don't have the patience or discipline to put my selfishness away. I just want to relax or have some quiet.

This morning I was trying to get ready so I could get going on what needed doing, and the boys were trying very hard to prevent any progress. I was getting upset, and it was time to make a choice. I could keep battling the boys to accomplish my goal, but this would likely lead to a mommy or child meltdown, or I could put off my goal, for a while, and just drive. Just driving is sometimes what I need when I am having one of "those days." I am not talking about running errands that require you to get the kids out of the car. I am talking about strapping the kids in their carseats, on opposite sides of the car, and just driving! Doing this can give me the break I need. I can have some time to think. Time to relax. Sure, I still talk to the kids about this tractor, that traffic light, etc, but the environment is controlled. They can't start fighting over a toy, hitting each other, or grab onto my legs in a desperate attempt to be picked up.

Today I swung by a friends house to grab something waiting on the porch. I then drove around town a bit to just let some time pass, and I ended up at a fast food place where I sat in the parking lot and filled my body with junk before driving home to make my boys a healthy organic lunch.  When I got home I felt more at ease. I was able to put the selfish side away and be a good mom. I still hadn't done what needed doing, but I felt much better.

Mom's we can't be perfect! In this age of scrapbooking, organic cooking, playdate hosting supermoms, it is easy to feel inadequate or the need to compete. But, if you want my advice (not that my three years of parenting experience makes me an expert) to be a good and loving mom to your kids, you have to remember to take care of yourself. You can't continue to sacrifice and sacrifice for your children without taking time to meet your own needs. If you try you will leave yourself empty. You won't be able to give anymore. You don't want to end up yelling, crying, or whatever your version of mommy melt down looks like so take action before that can happen. Get a sitter, go on a date, have a glass of wine, or if time won't allow for these things just drive.

1

Happy Birthday to my precious Caden! 

I can't believe you are already one. 

On July 6th of last year at 3am our busy first day together began when my water broke. We had been praying for you to decide it was time to come into the world, and I was so excited that the time was here! We arrived at the hospital a couple hours later so I could get started on antibiotics for group b strep. When the doctor came in to check on you and me he discovered that I had a second bag of water! Too weird! After two rounds of antibiotics I let the doctor break my other bag of water to speed things up. While we waited for you, daddy and I walked A LOT. We also ate Schlotzky's and watched the movie, Girl with a Pearl Earring. I would just relax and close my eyes during contractions.

After the movie the contractions began getting more intense. We put on some soft music, and I continued to relax while my body did the work. I felt I needed to go pee, and I knew it was almost time to meet you because I was very serious and a little snippy. I went into the bathroom, and that is where you were almost born! I didn't know if I would make it back to the bed, but somehow I did. Less than 5 minutes later at 3:48pm you were born. They placed you immediately on my chest. You were perfect! 7pounds, 9 ounces and 20 1/2 inches. I was so happy to finally be holding you. Those first moments together were perfect! I loved you so much immediately, and I have grown to love you more every day. I have been so blessed watching you grow this year. I love your playful personality! I know you are going to keep me busy, and I can't wait! You are such a gift! I am so thankful that God chose me to be your mommy! I love you, Caden! I hope your first birthday is wonderful!

A year ago

A year ago today I was 2 days overdue with Caden. I was big! Really, really big. I didn't expect to go over my due date. In fact, I thought he would be here early. Owen came 5 days early, so I crazily got my hopes up that Caden would grace us with his presence early too. Nope! Those last weeks seemed to drag on and on. All I wanted was to hold my sweet little baby in my arms, but instead I had to haul my 58 pounds heavier self around...in the Texas summer heat...with a two year old in tow. Everything took forever, and time seemed longer. How is it possible that a minute was still a minute, a day still a day, when it all seemed slower. I thought he would never come.

 Finally, on July 6, he was born. Then time, that had seemed to be crawling past, began to race. He was rolling, sitting, laughing, eating, crawling, standing all in the blink of an eye.




Now my little baby isn't so little. Wasn't it just yesterday that he was laying on my chest seeing the world for the first time? How has a year gone so quickly by? Time has played a trick on me, and I know it will continue to  do so. I will be fooled into thinking I have 17 more years until Caden is grown, but it won't really be that long. Not when I look back.  When I look back it will be a blur of memories. I'll have the dates recorded, proving that time was accurate. Seventeen years will have really passed, but just like this last year has passed in an instant, so will the rest. In 5 days my sweet Caden will be one. Then he'll be 2, 3, 4.... A minute will continue to be a minute. A day will still be a day, but don't let time fool you like it has me.

Just like us

  There is no greater joy for me than watching my children grow. I have the gift of being the first person to really know them. I get to see the ins and outs of their personalities. To some extent I can already see the areas in which they will likely excel and the areas in which they will struggle. This is my job! I am here to truly KNOW these boys. To understand their strengths and their faults. I will be there to cheer them on and encourage them. To help them, teach them, and love them. I will be there!

  My little Owen reminds me a lot of myself. I worry about that sometimes. It causes our interactions to often be, umm...lets say difficult. I will often be heard saying, "He is so strong willed and independent." These sound like great things, but when you are talking about a three year old that is not always the case. We spend a great deal of time butting our hard heads together. In these moments I don't always enjoy my job. It would be easier to just give in to his three year old will, but being a mom is not supposed to be easy. Challenging, rewarding, a blessing, yes! Easy, no! So, I fight the battles, deal with the tantrums, dole out the discipline, all in the hopes of rearing a well rounded, confident, yet humble child.

  As fun as it can be to see ways in which my children are like me (when it isn't driving me crazy), I think it is even more exciting to discover the ways they are like Sean. My sweet husband is smart, funny, quirky, a wonderful musician, and he can get a bit obsessed with things. Since the time we started dating I have enjoyed hearing stories about his childhood obsessions. From wanting to wear a sweater everyday to be like Mr. Rogers, failing an eye exam ON PURPOSE so he could have glasses like John Lennon, to falling off his bed and breaking his arm whilst hanging up a picture of JOHN STAMOS. Haha! Sorry, honey! I couldn't help myself. He did have great hair. 

  Anyways, back to the point. Owen is very impressionable just like his dear old dad. I love this about him! He has developed an adorable obsession with the show Blue's Clues. Everything comes back to Blue's Clues! When I tell him he needs to wait for something he will sing the waiting song and say, "Joe had to wait in the line on Blue's Clues. Sometimes we have to wait for things." When someone asked him about his birthday he said he had cupcakes with sprinkles. Not true, but Blue had sprinkles on her birthday cupcakes. He walks around the house singing the songs, talking to "side table drawer" and writing down clues. He has an actual "thinking chair" notebook and a stuffed Blue. He wants to have his notebook and Blue with him at all times. In the car. At the store. He sleeps with Blue while the notebook waits on his headboard for him to wake up. I cherish the moments when I am able to just sit and watch him sing, play, and most importantly write down clues. In these moments he is just having fun. He is innocent, uninhibited. He is just playing. He is not struggling for control or to discover his place in the world. The battles, the struggles, the discipline they are important, but these moments are important too! I want to remember to make time to just play, pretend, create with my kids. They need this. I think I need it too. I need time to just enjoy them. 

  So, thank you, Sean, for passing your crazy, obsessive tendencies on to our first born. They have brought me much joy and reminded me my job isn't always work. I love you!

Go away! I just want to pee alone!

Becoming a "mommy" has definitely been one of the greatest joys of my life, but there are definitely days when I can't stand that word! "Mommy, mommmmy, mooommmmy!" Sometimes I just want a break or a quiet room to hide out in for a few minutes. Yeah right! I can't escape the constant "needs" of my two sweet angels long enough to use the bathroom in peace, much less take a real break! It's as if they have some sort of potty radar. Even if I get them engrossed in an activity and try and sneak away to "do my business" privately, they somehow know! This is the moment Owen decides he "needs" some water, a snack, a missing toy, you name it, and so the "mommys" begin. Sadly Owen is not the only one demanding my attention at these inopportune moments anymore. Now that Caden is super mobile he not only wants to be in the bathroom with me, he tries to climb into my lap while I'm sitting on the throne! It's not as though this is a long process and they miss me. It can't take more than a minute, or two if I really take my time washing my hands, for me to get back to them, but they aren't having it! So, I spend my bathroom "breaks," ha,  telling Owen where he left whatever it is this time, or to hold on a second, blocking Caden with my foot so he doesn't touch the toilet, and trying to get out of there as fast as possible! I long for the day when I can, again, be guaranteed privacy in a bathroom with a toilet not covered in little boy pee (that's a discussion for another day), but until then I will hope for speedy potty breaks while simultaneously hoping everything else slows down. After all, sooner than I want they will not "need" me so much, and the "mommys" will decrease until they are replaced with a more mature "mom." I know I will miss my mommy title when that day comes so for now I'll TRY and enjoy all the "mommys" as they come.

Summer fun has begun...sort of

It is HOT here in New Braunfels! We are already getting into the 100's, and it isn't even June yet. To do anything outside during the day you almost have to be doing a water activity. One of the wonderful things about NB is all of the great water activity options. This year I decided the kids and I should get Schlitterbahn season passes. Yesterday afternoon we slathered on the sunblock, packed some bottled water, and headed to the bahn for the first time. I had been so excited about spending tons of fun time in the water with the boys that I gave very little thought to how frustrating, stubborn, determined Owen can be. We met up with my friend Brittany and her sweet little guy at one of the awesome kiddie areas. We sat down in the very shallow water to cool off and let Caden and his baby buddy Parker splash a bit. We were surrounded by fun little water slides, a submarine, and many other fantastic things most 3 year olds would love. Surely Owen would want to explore, right? Wrong! I stand up and try and encourage him to come with me, "Let's go look at the pirate ship."
"NO! I want to sit in the water!"
"Do you want to go down the slide?'
"NOooOO!"
Okay. I let it go. We decided if we were just going to sit in the water we should move to the even shallower area so the babies could explore a little more. Owen was not happy about this decision. He stomped his feet, screamed, and finally crawled across the ground behind me. He continued to throw fits and fight me for every decision. He ran away from me and even laid down in the middle of a bridge. At that point I decided it was time to go. We said goodbye to Brittany, Parker, and the cool, refreshing water and began the walk back to the car in the blistering heat. Sigh.
First thing this morning Owen says to me in his sweet, morning voice, "I want to go back to Schlitterbahn today."  Are you kidding me!?! Such is life with a hardheaded, demanding, strong willed 3 year old. I love him to death, but I think we'll skip Schlitterbahn today.

Here is a pic of Caden and Parker. They loved it!

Here is my Owen. Hopefully, with time, mommy brain will cause me to only remember how he was in this picture, and not how the rest of our first trip to Schlitterbahn actually was. I love this boy!